I thought I was done with it and the odds of my Anti-E titers going up were pretty slim. I was hopeful. But sadly, my titers rose to at least 1:16 vs. 1:8 where the doctors wanted them to be.
I got a message on my machine this morning to give my OB/GYN a call. “Routine.” I thought, “They must have gotten the results of my last blood draw, but I am sure everything is fine.” I called them back and the nurse got onto the phone with me.
“Hi, we got the results of your last titers back…and unfortunately that have risen, so the doctor would like you to go see the Maternal-Fetal Specialist as soon as you can.”
My heart sunk. “OK…”, I said, I could feel myself welling up. No one likes to know their baby is in danger, let alone, from their own mother’s body.
“Can you go today?”
“OK, we’ll set up the appointment and give you a call back.”
Before I knew it I was racing around the house getting ready and praying my parents made it on time to watch Little Magoo, so Mr. Magoo and I could get to the ultrasound for the fetal brain doppler on time.
Everything measured and looked great. Baby Magoo is perfect so far (measuring at 5lbs 14oz, with a head of hair) – and the artery in his brain is a-okay with pumping his blood, with no sight of anemia present, which is what the Anti-E Antibody can cause, when attacking the fetus…which could further result in fetal cardiac arrest. The Specialist commented on how wonderful Baby Magoo was, holding nice and still so he could get the perfect look.
Now I go for at least two more ultrasound of the same, followed by an amniocentesis…which I am scared to death of. I do fine with needles and other people, but the thought of a 3 inch needle going through my belly to where my baby is, scares the crap out of me. The amnio will tell the Doctor how well Baby Magoo is doing – because evidentially come 35 weeks, amnio is really the only way to tell. Baby Magoo will also be tested to see if his lungs are fully developed and if so, I will be induced/he will be taken early.
It is wonderful that I am having such great care …but I am so scared, for my child, having to come into this world early. I don’t like the idea of it at all. I don’t like the idea of being induced. I know it is for the best, but it is so stressful. I’d like him to come on his own, when he is ready…but it does not look like things will happen that way.
I was also very saddened by the fact that the Doctor informed Mr. Magoo and I, that we must think long and hard about having any future children, since any subsequent pregnancies will have a higher risk of being affected by the Anti-E Antibody, in my body. It seemed somewhat final in his tone. I don’t like that…the selfish part of me feels that our family may not be complete, I don’t want to think about it…but how could I put another baby through this…and part of me can’t help but feel it is all my fault – my body and my blood working against me.
Mr. Magoo and I have both felt the weight of the stress today and are still absorbing everything we were told today.
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