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Archive for July, 2009

There is this new little person in my life who I love dearly.

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Here he/she is.

This little person has already infiltrated my heart and life.

Today at the doctor’s office I was notified that my bloodwork came back with some strange information. I tested positive for an anti-e antibody. Apparently after surfing the web since arriving home, it appears to be something along the lines of facing an Rh factor…except the anti-e antibody is a very rare thing – apparently the “e” or “E” a rare protein found on a marker on a red blood cell, from either Little Magoo or this new bean. I never had this with my first pregnancy, but somehow was exposed to blood containing the “e” protein – either from this pregnancy or my previous one (makes me wonder if that is why Little Magoo came three weeks early or if I got it from him during labor and delivery)….but one of my little babes certainly carries this “e” marker/protein in his/her blood which my body apparently does not like.

This is all new to me and I can’t lie, I am very concerned about this little one living inside of me and what my body may do to him/her. If we chose to have any other children as well, this is something I will continue to have to deal with…but as of now I will be sent to a specialist and it looks like, closely monitored for the remainder of this pregnancy. We shall see.

I am not a fan of the letter “E” today.

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Today we decided to take a little drive to the next town over and visit a local produce farm, not only so I could get some decent blueberries, but also so Little Magoo could see the animals they have there – calves, chickens, bunnies, chicks, sheep, pigs and this little lady who greeted us:

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The goat, with her kids.

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Little Magoo was not impressed. Not in the slightest. He refused to even try to pet her. I don’t blame him the goat looked a little psycho.

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A chicken also stared at us awkwardly.

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Then there were some bunnies. This one was a fine looking fluffy specimen, but he looked at us disapprovingly.

At least the blueberries were decent.

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Opportunities

After Mr. Magoo met with a client and family friend today, who recently too family photos for us (he was designing her brochure for her), he came home to tell me that she was offering for me to go to a photography class she was having. This way I could better get to know my SLR camera, that I usually shoot in full auto. There was only one opening left in a group of six people she was having in the class. Granted my camera is completely wimpy compared to any of her equipment…God, her equipment made me drool during our family photo-shoot…and of course I nearly fainted when she asked me to carry one of her cameras for her.

Anyways, I kind of wrinkled my nose and shrugged my shoulders at Mr. Magoo’s suggestion. “I’ll tell her you want to think about it for a bit, OK?”

“Alright.” I said.

Then it dawned on me tonight. Think about it? Why on God’s green Earth do I need to think about it? Here is a really great opportunity for me to delve into something that I am actually interested, something that may lead to something else, or it may not, or it may just peak my interest for a while – but why not grab the opportunity while it presents itself?!?

I’ve always been an introvert…more or less to a certain extent. It seems that with the birth of my first child, I am always just so sad and afraid to leave him with anyone unless I know he’s snuggled soundly in bed off in slumberland. This class is during the day…the thought of leaving him and having someone else put him down for a nap scares me. Weird, I know, but I’ve done it alone or with Mr. Magoo there too for well over fifteen months now. It scares me to leave my bambino. But I need to break out of the shell of motherhood every so often.

I was discussing tonight with Mr. Magoo how I always have such great ideas or chances or creations, but when it comes to pushing myself to go all the way with an idea or opportunity, I fall short. Why? Again, I am scared. Scared of failing. Scared of looking like a fool, of not being good enough. Whatever in life I set out to do, I’ve always wanted to reach perfection at and if, right off the bat, I am not good enough or perfect enough at it, I set it aside or walk away from it. What a fool I am. How much I am missing out on. How much in life is passing me by, because I can’t be the best there is at it.

I decided to take the class. Take the opportunity. What have I got to lose? I need to go for it.

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…my only sunshine…

…thank God you came back today.  Hallelujah! Rejoice! Grab a stick a celebrate!

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…you make me happy when skies were grey…

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…you’ll never know, Dear Sun…

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…just how much I love you…

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…please, oh please, don’t take my sunshine away!

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We missed you, Sun.

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Yes, that is correct – it is still raining. I think it has just about 3 weeks now. Maybe more, maybe less…I’ve lost track.

We all awoke this morning to thunderstorms and at about 9 o’clock in the morning it is still dark as can be out, as if it is 8pm at night.

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It’s been pouring out all morning. Our poor lawn is gone…riddled with fungi.

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Our front walk is overgrown with violets peeking through the brick.

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My garden….*sigh*…my poor garden. Look at the beast. Who needs Miracle Grow? I’m sorry I’m neglecting you garden…at least you are a nice lush green.

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…drip…drip…drip.

I miss the sun.

Dear Great Ball of Fire in the Sky,

If you are listening…please return to us some day. We promise to don our sunglasses and SPF 60 and bask in all your glory for days upon end.

Love,

Mrs. Magoo and all New England Residents

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