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Archive for April, 2009

Curls

After having a not-so-good day the other day, this happened.

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Curls. Especially when the air is hot, the little tiny bit of hair Little Magoo has, curls. I love it. Like really, really love it.

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It is just one of my most favorite things about him. It makes me want to squeal with delight.

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I was so thankful to have such a nice little wonder of the universe turn my day around.

My heart pitter-patters every time I see his curls. *sigh*

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Many people think that staying at home is so glorious – yes, I will have to admit that I am very fortunate to be able to be with my child all day and stay around and enjoy my home…but that is also the downside – I am with my child ALL day. I am at home ALL day. Just as working outside of the home has its drawbacks (having to take a day off from work or leave early to care for a sick child or a snow day) – so does staying at home (not getting a sick day when you are sick and having to take care of your sick self and a child at the same time).

I think too, people think we must be oozing with wealth since I get to stay at home too and provide childcare for our baby – but we are not. I still wear maternity clothing because we opt to buy other things we need and have bills up the wazzoo and have cut luxuries almost everywhere (from down-grading cable to eliminating trash pick-up).

I wish I could sit around and eat bon-bons all day, but I don’t sometimes I don’t even get a break, if my child chooses not to nap – or when he does nap, I have the option of eating something (other than just my cup of coffee in the morning – I’m amazed I don’t lose weight), doing chores, making phone calls, showering, getting dressed, or taking a breather…but I only get one of those options…

My day begins at 5:30am almost every day (well, it is really a 24 hour day, but we won’t get into that):

– wake up, breastfeed, change baby

– drink coffee

– make baby breakfast

– let baby play while doing dishes/chores

– play with baby a bit

– put baby down for nap

– check email, do chores, shower

– get baby up, changed

– give baby milk, snack (and have to stay inside if the snack is messy)

– let baby play, or get out of the house for an hour or so

– lunchtime

– breastfeed, nap for baby

– take a breather

– get baby up, changed

– give baby milk, snack

– get out of the house for a brief walk (maybe), start dinner, let baby watch TV show

– give baby dinner

– bathe baby, get ready for bed

– breastfeed, put baby to bed

5:30pm the day “ends”. Repeat. All day, every day.

Occasionally there are the small windows of time where Little Magoo and I can get out of the house to meet with friends or run errands, but it isn’t too often, because if I miss his naptime, forget it – my day is even longer….and it is isolating…

Seeing how my days are in and out in and out – and how my husband struggles to pay the bills and goes about doing projects during the day and weekends, taking care of the inside and outside of the home…while again, I get stuck taking care of baby like every other day, has really got me thinking. Do I want another child? Yes, I do. Should I have another child? No, I should not.

Sadly this was my realization today. I just cannot do it. Really, I cannot…I am loosing myself further into the abyss as life passes me by and everyone else goes on.

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Bubbles

The other day I introduced my son to bubbles – he loved it, but unfortunately I was unable to take any photos as a neighbor had stopped by to say hello while we were outside. Today we got back out there with the bubbles…

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Isn’t it a cute little bubble container?

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Ooooohhhh, Mama, what is that?

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Are you ready?

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Here we gooooooooo!!!!

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That’s it?

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More Mama!!

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Yippee!

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Hee-hee!!! This is GREAT!

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There they go…

I love when life is so simple. Bubbles make everyone happy.

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The Fear of the Unknown

Today marked the first day of weaning my baby from his nursing to sleep at one of his naps. All morning long I felt the stress and anxiety building in my chest and body. Here my little toddler is, getting bigger by the day, but I knew he still needed me. I know how much nursing comforts him…quite frankly I was terrified he’d be up in his room for an hour, screaming his head off wanting to nurse.

Mr. Magoo and I read him his stories, kissed him sweetly, gave him his taggie and laid him down to nap. Immediately he stood up, crying for me and me…I walked away and shut the door behind me. Ugh. How could I do that? The anxiety increased.

He cried lightly for 3 minutes, which turned into a whine, which turned into silence as he fell asleep.

It is amazing how children can really surprise their parents with what they are capable of…he didn’t need me – he’s a big boy now – and I couldn’t be more proud of him!

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When Toys Attack

Little Magoo has been trying very hard to walk, but unfortunately like both of his parents, he is pretty clumsy. He does pretty good with trying to cruise different things, like his toy table or the gate or his pack n’ play. Yesterday I was making dinner for him – from the counter in the kitchen, I looked into the playroom and there he was standing up at one of his play tables. I thought nothing of it, since he does do pretty good about landing on his bum when he feels himself teeter a bit. The next thing I knew he was cruising the wall, taking little steps with his hands on the wall…then he looked up at me as if to say: “Look at me, Ma!!!!”

Then the Fisher Price Little People Train Track on the floor attacked his face. Well, his nose to be specific.

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He landed right on the lip of the track that sticks up to keep the train in the track.

Surprisingly he didn’t cry much at all and it didn’t even phase him this morning. Me on the other hand, I was totally worried he had broken his nose or had a concussion or something.

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I told my “Little Rocky” to tell everyone: “You should see the other baby!” đŸ˜‰

Funny how when you were a kid, you thought nothing of injuring yourself and wondered why your parents would always be so upset about it. I swear this boy is going to give me a heart attack one of these days.

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This is me, earlier this evening.

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My darling husband grabbed the camera for the photo.

I really don’t know what the worst part of this photo is…let’s analyze it, shall we?

…is it the balloon left over from my son’s birthday last month?

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The fact that I have on a semi-dressy top and pajama pants?

Or the fact that  I have pajama pants on at all at 4:30pm? (or maybe that I consider 4:30pm early evening…)

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Perhaps…it is because I am holding a baby bathtub while I stand there, looking longingly into the fridge trying to figure out what to make for dinner.

Odd. All so very odd.

This is my life.

I think the most disturbing thing of all is this:

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The hideous linoleum looks yellow and in reality it is an off white. *shudder* Mind you, I JUST washed the floor on Monday night.

Time to bust out the ammonia and strip the wax.

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I full on intended to blog over the past couple of days…but unfortunately my “perfect day” the other day turned into a “horrible week”. I went to bed on Tuesday evening with a slight tickle in my throat and thought nothing of it – only to be awoken in the middle of the night by a horrendous sore throat…followed by body aches, stuffy nose, chills and a fever in the morning. My fever finally broke last night, thank goodness. I had full on intentions of going into the city tonight to see a concert with my husband and a friend, but alas I had to pass it up to stay home and take care of myself. I still have a throbbing head when I stand up (you know that sickie headache) and a lovely stiff neck and dry cough…it’s all in all awesomeness.

To top it all off, my son still has about week 3 of his head cold and has been dripping snot like a faucet. The poor little guy screams and cries when he sees me coming with a tissue or better yet, the bulb syringe. I’m getting just as sick of it as he probably already is! His only defense tactic to me is trying to bite me when I do it – the other day, when I was sick as a dog with a fever – I wiped his nose and he trust his face forward and down, clamping down on the tissue AND my finger…it was a death grip – all I could do was grab his jaw so he wouldn’t bite down any harder – we both walked away from that one, crying. Miserable.

Toddler Magoo has also apparently found that it will be interesting to try and extend his morning nap for 2 hours and drop his afternoon nap pretty much completely. He’s been going to bed at 5pm every night now…but no matter how early or late we put him to bed, 5:30am comes and he is up for the day. I think he is a rooster.

Yesterday I attempted to make his morning nap a little briefer, to see if his afternoon nap would extend, so I went in his room to wake him up. I was shocked at how soundly he was sleeping – I had never before seen this in my life from him, since he usually is such a light sleeper. I called his name, turned the light on, rubbed his back, walked up and down the stairs and took a picture – still, he kept on sleeping – so cute.

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So for an all in all lousy week, I think being able to take a picture of your baby sleeping with his bum in the air makes it all better in the end.

(HA! No pun intended!)

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